Stephi's Sonnet
Its the feeling that you get
Your stomach grows deep with butterflies
Inability to catch your breath, the lack of lies
The words heard and it's all set
Together to the end, it can be our bet
I'd give you the world, the earth and the skies
If only I could make you look in my eyes
I'll be your catch, if you have the net
So many miles apart but we're growing near
Cheer up, emo boy, we don't have to part
Give me a dandelion and I'll pick the leaves
Do you have someone there, my dear.
I dare you to ask, make it start
Here is my heart, take it please.
Four Words
Long ago, I stopped my trying;
Soon enough I'll stop my crying.
People say I'm not too strong;
But being weak isn't wrong.
Love Pain Hope Die
My hurt is not something you should buy.
You left me, so long ago;
More and more each day you become my foe.
You broke me down bit by bit
Killing me is what you wanted..isn't it?
The Last Fight
The bruises are deeper in my heart;
Each night that you tore me apart.
Running and Thrashing around the room;
Everytime I thought I'd be in my tomb.
The slaps and kicks punctured my soul;
Nothing is left, Everything you stole.
But tonight I'm going to get help;
No time to call..I'll do it myself.
Behind the door, there lay a gun;
I'm so sorry to do this, But I'm finished..I'm done...
Maybe...
I'm cold, I'm lonely, I'm sore.
Walking down this road, I know i've walked before.
Telling me, Its just a phase, your wasting your time..
Mumbling the same old words to the same old rhyme
No control..Just go...
Leave, They'll never know..
It's a lonely road to success;
Trying to hard to be my best
I'll take off a necklace or two,
Hoping they'll see right through.
Maybe my hair is too short..My clothes to black...
To them its just a growing thing, no need to attack.
I'll leave my spikes at home,
Maybe look for some gel and a comb
Hoping to please some high-maitance family members
Maybe dressing a bit normal..will make them rememeber
I get up in the morning, I'll put on that face
Just to make sure, people think I'm okay.
Loved....Never and Over
One Look at you and I thought you were the one;
One look at you and I thought I was in love.
I know it's crazy, but I didn't care;
It really didn't matter when people would stare.
Wondering Why we were together;
But when we WERE together, I thought 'us' ment forever.
But I was wrong and the people were right;
We'd always be in this huge fight.
We tried to stay together, Tried to make excuses;
But, No matter what..it was useless.
My friends were always like: No No Hes not your type;
But I said: I don't care..Hes just right.
I guess I should have listened;
Because there really was something missing.
Is it a phase?
Why dont you like me
I feel like a reject
Looking in the mirror to stare
wondering why your not there
what im not prime trim
im not the OTHER girl limb to limb
You stare at me yet when i wanna talk
You look away and just walk
Alls i wanna know is are you thinking what im thinking?
Do you like me like that?
Is it a phase?Will it pass?
I like you so much,so much!
And I hate it.It sucks!!
I tried everything.
I tried calling,you hang up.
I tried talking,you walk away.
i tried looking,but you dont stay.
Alls i wanna know is are you thinking what im thinking?
Do you like me like that?
Is it a phase?Will it pass?
Or these feelings i have for you will they last?
Pretending
Pretending...does any know what it really means
People pretending in life, in love, even in dreams
I use it to cover my true feelings
but inside its just like a killing
know im not the most femine girl in the world
Everything in my life has been rough
And im getting tired of pretending im tough
I see a guy that i like
He sees me and dont crush me back
wanna know why?
Im too boyish as a matter of fact
I wanna knoe whats going on i really do
This is all bull the crap im going through
Deep down inside i need what everyone else needs
Deep down i see what other people see
So what did i ever do
I need someone there to comfort me to hold me but most of all to say 'I love you'
Wonder
You wonder why im staring;
You wondering why im caring
You walk by and you see me falling apart;
Buts alls i really want is a peice of your heart
I've tried so many times and I've tried way to long;
I dont know if i can do it any more
Im really not that strong
I thought you saw me,but i could tell in your eyes you looked right through me
People dont understand with you i wanna be
When you said you didnt wanna go out with me
you could never understand how bad i felt
Not one more day can i deal with the cards i've been dealt
Its not that hard, yet its really not easy;
To look at you and not cry wondering why you dont wanna be with me
Two/Too Different
Two different worlds,
Two different lives,
People judged and everyone knew why
Two different cultures,
Two different races,
It's like when you dont want two different laces
Two different likes,
Two different dreams,
These people can't be together, thats what it seems
Two different styles,
Two different cliques,
The world is broke and it can't be fixed.
I Won't
I feel so lonely as I walk
I feel so lonely as I talk
Yes I have a family and yes I friends
But my life is ....well its all dreads
Why do I have to be like this?
Why should I fear?
Why do I have to think everyone is here
looking at me
I'm so scared.
So tell ME how to be
Am I supposed to be a cheerleader;
Or a jock,
Or a geek and be made fun of because I'm not as solid as a rock;
Am I supposed to be a brain?
Or just average,
Or a punk and listen to music that's insane;
NO! NO! I wont be someone else!
Just for you?!
NO! I wont!
NO! I wont!
I will not let you see.....
The ugliness inside of me.
Sisters
Shes my idol
I look up to her in many ways
I tell her something, she doesn't lose her cool
I think about the good days we had, All the days
Before she went to college, we had a lot of fights
We had a lot of talks about high school
When I was bad she read me my rights
She was mature and I felt like a fool
I was always known as 'Benito's little sister'
All her friends said 'she looks just like you'
I always wanted to be just like her
She took me everywhere so I felt bad for Jordan and Boo
So sisters by must
Friends by decisions
In her, I'll put my trust
And I know in the future, there will be many collisions
You taught me
Alarm clock blaring...6AM
Get dressed up for all of them
I did the same thing I do everyday
Being so mean to him I knew I'd pay
I guess today was that day
Walked into school
Everyone knew me and thought i was cool
3rd period I was in the library
Got my discman and took it with me
Turned it up so I couldnt hear nothing
Guess it was loud cause everyone started running
I pushed 'stop' and heard guns blast
Got up to run but wasnt as fast
Looked over and saw some kid going past
His name was John or Bob or something like that
Didnt try to cover up not even a hat
Try to hurt everyone..everyone single one
He succeeded at taking away the fun
But we all knew it in our hearts that he never won
Cause he's just hurting himself
I bet he never tried to get help
To this day i can remember everyone who had to die
It's horrible that I have to cry
He took my best friend
Now you sit in prison while i have one message to send
'How could you do this?Please tell me Because it hurts
Knowing i get to sit here While their families have to be alert.
I hope you die a thousand painfull deaths.
But yet im glad god gave you breath
Because you taught me something
To always be yourself And give everyone a blessing'
How can I?
As i sit here and type this paper
I think of the happy times we had
the special laughs we shared
and the moments that cared
As i sit here and think of things
i feel a tear in my eyes
i remember everything
the loud crashes
the screams
the pain
everything down to the smell
As i sit here and watch you fall deeper into the ground
i see my life flash before my eyes
how can i live without you?
How can i breath?
How can I feel?
How can i be?
How can i see?
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